10 Reasons I'm Cooler Than Tobin
by lazermonkey
Summary: Title says all. Daryl makes a list for Carol about why he is cooler than Tobin. Daryl may be slightly jealous...
1. Chapter 1

10 Reasons I'm Cooler Than Tobin by Daryl Dixon

1\. I'll eat anything you cook with no questions asked and no complaints. If you made it I'll eat it. And love it.

2.I'm not creepy. I don't stare at you or follow you around like a lost puppy. I'm not a stalker.

3.I drive a motorcycle. He drives a Kia. Enough said.

4\. I know how to shoot and shoot well. Tobin,on the other hand, can't hit the broad side of a barn standing 3 feet away from it.

5.I don't snore. I also am not a blanket thief. Mostly.

6\. My job is more successful. I brought people here who are still alive. He builds crappy walls that fall down when wooden towers fall on them. Not to mention his lack of concern for the safety of his fellow workers.

7\. I don't call you stupid names like "sweetie pie" or "cream puff".

8\. I'm smaller than him so you don't have to strain your neck to look at me or always be able to see my boogers.

9\. My name's cooler. Who the crap names their kid Tobin? What even is a Tobin? It sounds like a bin in which you keep toes. Not to mention my name rhymes with yours.

10\. I know you. He doesn't.

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 **Hey guys! Thanks for reading! Be sure to leave me a review and let me know which of Daryl's reasons was your favorite! Next chapter will be a list of reasons why Tobin thinks he's cooler than Daryl.**


	2. Chapter 2

10 Reasons I'm Cooler than Daryl by Tobin

1\. I bathe regularly without complaint or needing to be bribed unlike Mr. Dixon.

2\. My living space is always tidy and free of dead vermin.

3\. I'm bigger than him which makes me more helpful when trying to reach high objects. It also makes me more intimidating to potential threats.

4\. I NEVER and I mean NEVER track dirt on the clean white carpet. That would just be cruel of me. I would never undo your hard work.

5\. I have a college education and a respectable job.

6\. I do not use improper grammar. "Ain't" is NOT a word.

7\. I can carry on a conversation like a civilized being and do not just grunt in response to others like a caveman.

8\. I do not feel the need to announce when I have to go #1. Especially not in the middle of dinner as Daryl is fond of doing.

9\. I am willing to watch chick flicks with you and will not whine the whole time about how there should be more explosions. I will also share my popcorn and not spit the kernels back into the bowl.

10\. My Kia is much safer than his motorcycle. I don't take unnecessary risks by driving something that could get you or me killed.

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 **Hey guys! These are quick to write and a lot of fun so look out for more soon! Please leave a review and tell me what your favorite reason was from this chapter and who you're rooting for. Team Daryl or Team Tobin? I love hearing feedback from you all! Next chapter will be 10 more reasons Daryl is cooler than Tobin.**


	3. Chapter 3

10 MORE Reasons I'm Cooler Than Tobin by Daryl Dixon

1\. I have a rocket launcher. He has an gun he doesn't even know the name of.

2\. I bring you fresh meat for dinner that I worked hours to get for you. He shows up with salad he spent 5 minutes throwing together and calls it a meal. Only rabbits can live on that.

3\. I brought you a Cherokee rose. He brought you some dandelions. Weeds. He brought you weeds. Weeds, Carol. _Weeds._

4\. He thinks you're weak. I know you're strong.

5\. I spent days looking for your little girl. He doesn't even know you had one.

6\. I am better at giving massages. Probably. Maybe. Most likely. (ok I will admit I don't have solid evidence of this one but I don't see him giving you massages so I win)

7\. I am willing to take the jobs no one else wants. Like grave digger, walker body burner, recruiter and scout. He does the jobs he's comfortable with.

8\. He's too big to feed. I'll never put anything up too high where you can't reach.

9\. I can find a rabbit in a snow storm. Literally. He can't find his work boots half the time.

10\. He puts ketchup on his eggs. That right there PROVES he's not a good person!

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 **Hey guys! I'm so glad you all are liking this. Your reviews are awesome and I love reading them! I tried to respond to everyone who left a review and had an account so check your inboxes. Thanks for reading,favoriting, and following! Next chapter will be Tobin's comeback. Leave a review and don't forget to tell me what your favorite reason was. Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 4

**10 More Reasons I'm Cooler than Daryl by Tobin**

1.I have better fashion sense. He doesn't even own a shirt with sleeves.

2.I'm much more musical. I'm pretty good at singing. I doubt he even knows the ABC song.

3.I have a practical and mature haircut. His mop looks like he let Judith cut it.

4.I can cook many gourmet meals. His best dish is possum stew.

5.I'm nice to people I don't like. He flips them off.

6.I have my own house with running water and electricity. He lives in a garage.

7\. I spend my days making the community more secure by reinforcing the wall. He wonders around the forest all day and all night and comes home with MAYBE one squirrel.

8.I think you're beautiful and I have told you so before. All he ever says about your appearance is that you look ridiculous.

9.I know that as of today, it's exactly 46 days until your birthday. He couldn't even tell me today was Monday.

10.I love you. He's never said that.

 **I am so sorry I haven't updated this in so long! Please don't forget to leave a review!**


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